Dating Trends Survey…
In a survey by It’s Just Lunch of 38,912 singles, IJL found that:
·         1 in 8: the chance a woman has of a 2nd date if she has not heard from him within 24 hours of their first date.
·         Top conversation killers: past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%.
·         17%–the chance of liking a date set up by a friend.
·         88% of women find money to be very important in a relationship.
·         Topic to ignore on a first date—60% of women and 64% of men don’t talk politics on a first date.
·         52% of singles feel they are too busy to meet other singles.
·         76% of women date men that are at least 5 years older than them, while 80% of men date women that are at least 5 years younger than them.
·         53% of singles find a great smile the most attractive feature.
·         43% of singles have Googled someone on the internet before a first date.
5 Things to Say When You’re Interested/Not Interested
Five Things to Say If You Want to See Them Again
1. “I had a great time. Would you like to get together again soon?”
2. “Would you be interested in dinner next time?”
3. “This was a great lunch! I’d like to get to know you better.”
4. “I’m going hiking on Saturday and would love for you to join me.”
5. “Now that the hard part is out of the way, are you interested in going out again?”
Five Things to Say When You’re Not Interested
1. “The best of luck and fun in your future dates. Thanks again.”
2. “I can see us becoming friends. I’d like to invite you to my next party.”
3. “I had a good time, but I just don’t think we have that much in common.” (Very politely
point out the differences between your lifestyles, interests, etc., which will show why you’re not a good match.)
4. “I have a friend you might like, can I give him/her your number?”
5. “I feel that the chemistry just isn’t quite right between us.” (This implies it’s a mutual thing.)
Dating Trends of Singles…
According to a survey by It’s Just Lunch, 80% of singles still believe that a relationship is more important than a career and over 90% of singles want to get married someday.
“Singles today are more proactive about meeting other singles then they were ten years ago. We have found that singles are using many different avenues to meeting that special someone." “52% of women and 48% of men have used a dating service, compared to only 8% over a decade ago.”
Over the past decade while the goal of meeting someone special has remained the same, the age singles believe they will tie the knot has changed.  In the 1990’s, 54% of single women believed they would marry in their early to mid 30’s; 59% of single men believed they would marry in their mid 40’s.  Today, the timing has reversed. 56% of single women believe they will marry in their late 30’s or 40’s, while 54% of single men believe they will marry in their 30’s.
Dress to Impress
Once you’ve agreed on a time and place for your date, it’s time to figure out what to wear.
Though clothes can never be a substitute for self-confidence or a positive attitude, they can go a long way in making a good impression and give you a head start on landing a second date.
What’s most important about dressing for a first date is wearing something that you feel comfortable in, both physically and mentally. Just reach for your favorite confidence-boosting outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks.
If you don’t have one, get one immediately. Every single should have at least one outfit that they look and feel amazing in. You should be able to put it on at any time and know that you look great and feel confident and sexy in the clothes. Pick out something classic that you can wear to any type of date. You want an outfit that can be dressed down for a more casual date, or dressed up for a more formal date.
What Men Look for on a First Date
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Does she complain about men?
- Is she open to trying new things?
- Do I like her clothes and sense of style?
- Can she speak intelligently about more than one thing (such as her job)?
- Is she emotionally available or is she still talking to her ex a lot?
- Can she maintain eye contact? Is she nervous? Is there some energy between us or is it flat? (Nervous is better than flat).
- Is she generous or is she confrontational? Can she hold her own opinion without making me wrong?
- Does she have a good sense of humor and a “fun” attitude? Does she get my sense of humor? Is she happy?
- Do we have chemistry? How does she respond when I put my hand on the side of her arm or in the small of her back? Is she open and not afraid to show that she likes me?
- Is she high maintenance? Does she talk about nicer places than the one you are taking her to in a way that makes you think she would have rather gone there? Does she pick the most expensive thing on the menu on a first date?
Vodka Honey, Straight Up
by Leora Klein.(edited by Alix Strauss)
Dan sounded great on paper: Upper East Side, Fieldston, Brown undergrad, NYU Law, formerly a corporate lawyer, currently a CEO of a nonprofit that seeks to foster peace between Palestinian and Israeli children…My mother met his mother at a charity dinner. Seated next to each other, nibbling on raisin nut rolls, patiently waiting for their salad plates to be whisked away, they noticed that neither woman ate the shaved fennel. By the time the blackened sea bass was served they were dear friends. She didn’t wait for dessert to show my mother a photograph of her son, and my mother called me from the car on her way home to tell me the great news.
“She had a photograph of her son in her evening bag?”
“Actually, she had it on her cell phone, and he looked very handsome with a nice head of hair.”
“Did you inquire about his height?” I am 5’9″.
“I did and she said he was taller than her husband, and her husband was tall.”
He sounded too perfect. My mother always taught me perfect doesn’t exist.
Is this “The One?”
Most people have an idea of what constitutes a desirable mate. We usually get fixated on superficial aspects like appearance, income, or lifestyle and don’t give enough thought to the quality of that relationship.
It’s emotional intimacy, being able to share your truest, deepest, most vulnerable self with your significant other, which makes us feel loved. Skip judgments based on superficial aspects and focus on how you connect emotionally; how comfortable you are being yourself when you’re around them, and how often you laugh and have fun together.
Really, that’s all there is to it. If you can read the paragraph above and know in your head that your partner meets all of those needs and makes you feel great about yourself, then he or she has all the qualities to become your ideal partner. The rest is up to the two of you.
A relationship is like any long-term investment: it requires a great deal of time, effort and devotion. Couples come and go, but real relationships are those that can survive whatever life throws at them. They go through it together and come out closer than before.
One final thing you should ask yourself before you decide whether this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with : Do you both share the same vision of the future?
Do you want the same things or are you at least committed to helping the other fulfill his or her dreams as well as your own? Do you both see yourselves together for many years to come? Can you imagine investing in a house, raising a family and eventually growing old together?
Before you choose to commit to someone, make sure you have no desperate need for attachment and that you are in a good place with your self-esteem. Be ready to walk away if things don’t turn out as planned. Don’t try to force a relationship to work or invest time trying to change someone. The whole purpose is to avoid ending up in divorce court. Why would you want to close a deal that has the wrong foundation or missing parts?
If you have seven or eight of the signs below in your relationship, this could be it!
Nine signs for Recognizing Mr. or Mrs. Right!
·         You listen to each other
·         You have a strong chemistry connection
·         He or she is a cheerleader for your hopes and dreams
·         You tell them what you want in a relationship and he or she steps up to the plate
·         Your partner is genuine, trustworthily, and understanding
·         You can both compromise and work together to resolve disputes
·         You have a similar approach to life (values, morals, goals)
·         Your partner shows you kindness, consideration, and respect
·         You are focused on each other, not looking around for something better
A relationship is a two way street. Don’t forget to be the same way back.
How to tell if you are ready for commitment:
Are you and your partner both emotionally ready for a committed relationship right now? If one of you is and one of you isn’t, you are both wasting your time and energy. Avoiding this conversation (or choosing to overlook the importance of it) is a major mistake. You could mislead someone into believing there is a future with you, or you might spend months or years fooling yourself with an unavailable partner. In relationships, as in life, timing is everything. We all get to different stages of emotional growth at different times and there is no right or wrong time for commitment. It happens when you’re ready. And for some, it may never come. Relationship experts believe we attract people who reflect some part of ourselves, so if you find that you frequently attract non-committal partners, you may have some subconscious motivation not to commit to yourself.
