Dos and Don’ts of Dating
There are no hard and fast rules to dating, but here are some tips that won't do any harm.
Do let go of the past. It's done. Build yourself a small bridge and get over it. Quit telling your story; it's boring.
Don't jump straight into another relationship. Take some time to adjust; you need to be alone for a while to rediscover who you are.
Do find a balance. Seek love, but don't make it your whole life. Get a hobby. Knit, volunteer. Knit yourself a volunteer.
Do cultivate relationships with other single people; it's depressing being the token singleton in a crowd of couples; like being alone on Noah's Ark.
Don't drink in excess on dates. It's pathetic and leads to arm-gnawing moments of awkwardness later.
Don't come on too strong. It's unnerving, and you're dating, not stalking. Keep the mystery and let things progress naturally.
Don't introduce the person you're seeing to your friends and family too early; it's tempting when you're used to being part of a couple, but is overwhelming.
Do be open; rigid rules about a 'type' may mean you dismiss somebody lovely.
Do maintain your self-respect; go easy with sharing information. There's plenty of time to get to know each other; no early soul-baring. It smacks of desperation.
Don't take it all so seriously. Approach it with a sense of openness and fun. Flirt a bit, enjoy it all, and you'll be infinitely more attractive!
Become a Pro at the Art of Flirting with the Opposite Sex
You finally get them to nitice you and they walk over to talk to you. Now what? How do you keep them interested? That is where the art of flirting comes in. It's really quite simple.
It’s Saturday night in a crowded bar. A man and woman are locked in conversation. She’s laughing, batting her eyelashes and playing with her hair. He’s standing with his head tilted slightly, leaning in toward her and occasionally touching her arm. They’re performing a social ritual that’s been around for more than 5,000 years — flirting.
Flirting is one of the great joys in life. It’s an ego booster that makes you feel more attractive and desirable. Flirt with someone and they feel excited, flattered, appreciated and darn good about themselves. So indulge yourself whenever possible.
Two things are going on when you flirt. The first is the actual conversation, and the second is your body language. Flirting is an enticement and an invitation that lets the other person catch glimpses of your most attractive characteristics and behaviors.
These days, it’s a lost art, but it’s great fun when done well. Practice flirting with acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex (without telling them) and see what techniques get the best response.
For those who feel clueless about where to even start, we assure you that flirting is a learned behavior. It’s not only possible to pick up the basics, but with a little practice, you can perfect the art. Let’s start with the flirting conversation.
It’s Just Lunch Offers a Snapshot: Do Politics and Dating Make a Match?
The following are results from the It's Just Lunch poll.
1. How important is your date's political affiliation?
Overall Male Response Female Response
Somewhat Important 40% 34% 44%
Somewhat Unimportant 23% 25% 22%
Not Important 27% 34% 22%
Very Important 10% 7% 12%
2. Would you date someone who supports an opposing political party?
Yes 63% 70% 58%
Maybe 29% 24% 33%
No 8% 6% 9%
3. If your date asked about the upcoming election, would you be
comfortable responding?
Yes 87% 91% 85%
No 13% 9% 15%
4. At what time do you believe it's appropriate to discuss politics
on a date?
On the third date 40% 38% 40%
On the first date 33% 37% 32%
On the fifth date 17% 15% 19%
Only when in a
committed relationship 10% 10% 9%
5. How important is it to you that your date be knowledgeable of the
issues concerning the upcoming election?
Somewhat Important 57% 55% 58%
Very Important 17% 11% 20%
Not Important 11% 15% 9%
Somewhat Unimportant 15% 19% 13%
6. If you had plans for a date and found the only time you would be able
to vote would be when you are scheduled to meet, would you cancel your
date in order to vote?
Yes 14% 13% 15%
No 13% 21% 8%
I would see if we could
meet later if I was able
to finish voting in a
reasonable amount of time 73% 66% 77%
7. How would you feel if your date cancelled or rescheduled a date with
you so that he/she could vote?
I would understand and
respect the individual
for exercising this right 67% 69% 67%
I would be completely
annoyed and would have
no further interest in
dating this person 4% 3% 3%
I would be disappointed
and hope we could
reschedule 29% 28% 30%
8. You meet your date, there is a definite physical attraction and
chemistry BUT you learn your date supports a different party. Would
that deter you from going on a second?
Yes 11% 11% 11%
No 89% 89% 89%
Be Flexible…
Don’t be overly specific when you think about your ideal partner — such as wanting “tall blondes” or “no bald guys.” Celebrate individuality and be open to new possibilities.
You could end up ruling out the woman or man of your dreams simply because they have the wrong hair color or are a few hairs short. Remember, it’s a wish list, and nobody’s perfect. Over the coming months, it will change and grow as you discover what’s really important to you in a relationship. Remain flexible and open with your “ideals.”
Fools Rush In
One of the biggest dating mistakes many singles make is when people are in too much of a rush to settle down. Disaster! They hook up with the first compatible person who comes along, instead of dating several people and then making a powerful choice as to what’s best for them.
Give yourself time to choose. The dating experience teaches you a great deal about what’s really important to you in a partner and what you have to offer. By observing yourself, you will gain new insight into how you react to different situations, and which problems you bring into each relationship. It’s only when you are inside the dynamic of a relationship that you can truly discover these things — otherwise it’s all “in your head.”
Evaluating Dating Site Press Releases
Press Release Grader is a web service for grading the quality of press releases. I’ve run a few dating site releases through and the highest grade so far was 89. Many score in the mid-60’s. I ran a recent BlackPeopleMeet press release through the HubSpot Press Release Grader. Here are the results.
Dating Trends Survey…
In a survey by It’s Just Lunch of 38,912 singles, IJL found that:
·         1 in 8: the chance a woman has of a 2nd date if she has not heard from him within 24 hours of their first date.
·         Top conversation killers: past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%.
·         17%–the chance of liking a date set up by a friend.
· 88% of women find money to be very important in a relationship.
·         Topic to ignore on a first date—60% of women and 64% of men don’t talk politics on a first date.
·         52% of singles feel they are too busy to meet other singles.
·         76% of women date men that are at least 5 years older than them, while 80% of men date women that are at least 5 years younger than them.
·         53% of singles find a great smile the most attractive feature.
·         43% of singles have Googled someone on the internet before a first date.
5 Things to Say When You’re Interested/Not Interested
Five Things to Say If You Want to See Them Again
1. “I had a great time. Would you like to get together again soon?”
2. “Would you be interested in dinner next time?”
3. “This was a great lunch! I’d like to get to know you better.”
4. “I’m going hiking on Saturday and would love for you to join me.”
5. “Now that the hard part is out of the way, are you interested in going out again?”
Five Things to Say When You’re Not Interested
1. “The best of luck and fun in your future dates. Thanks again.”
2. “I can see us becoming friends. I’d like to invite you to my next party.”
3. “I had a good time, but I just don’t think we have that much in common.” (Very politely
point out the differences between your lifestyles, interests, etc., which will show why you’re not a good match.)
4. “I have a friend you might like, can I give him/her your number?”
5. “I feel that the chemistry just isn’t quite right between us.” (This implies it’s a mutual thing.)
An alternative approach to dating
10 August 2008 By Áine Maguire
Anne-Marie Cussen, a psychology postgraduate who had done her thesis on alternative dating methods, was looking for something different to do when she spotted an ad in The Sunday Business Post.
It was offering the franchise opportunity for an Irish branch of US specialized dating agency It’s Just Lunch (IJL). Now, she is celebrating her first year at the helm of the Irish venture.
IJL, which markets itself as a ‘‘first date’’ specialist for professionals between the ages of 20 and 60, was launched here in May 2007.
It has arranged almost 5,000 first dates in its first year of business. About 50 per cent of its clients have gone on to have second dates and some have been together for more than a year.
‘‘A lot of our clients are people at a senior level in business who are not in a position to date colleagues or clients,” said Cussen. ‘‘We take what we do very seriously and spend a lot of time establishing exactly what people are looking for.”
The first meeting with potential clients is, according to Cussen, a two-way process - as it would be in a business venture. ‘‘They must decide if they want to use our services and we must decide if we want to have them as a client.”
IJL conducts an in-depth interview with the client to build a detailed personal profile, and identify their requirements and preferences. They also verify all clients’ identity and ages through their driving license or passports.
A fee of €799 guarantees 14 introductions in the following 12-month period. If you meet someone you like early on, you can put your remaining introductions on hold for up to one year.
Based on the person’s profile and preferences, the company matches people who appear suited. It also organizes the time and place of the meetings - and if lunchtime doesn’t suit, alternatives such as drinks after work can be arranged.
Although IJL does not exchange clients’ full names or contact details, the person they are meeting will be given some details. These include age, height, eye and hair color, profession and information about their interests and hobbies. After the first meeting, the couple can then decide if they want to exchange personal contact details.
IJL is based in Dublin but has satellite locations in Cork, Galway and Belfast. For more details, visit www.itsjustlunchireland.com.
Dress to Impress
Once you’ve agreed on a time and place for your date, it’s time to figure out what to wear.
Though clothes can never be a substitute for self-confidence or a positive attitude, they can go a long way in making a good impression and give you a head start on landing a second date.
What’s most important about dressing for a first date is wearing something that you feel comfortable in, both physically and mentally. Just reach for your favorite confidence-boosting outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks.
If you don’t have one, get one immediately. Every single should have at least one outfit that they look and feel amazing in. You should be able to put it on at any time and know that you look great and feel confident and sexy in the clothes. Pick out something classic that you can wear to any type of date. You want an outfit that can be dressed down for a more casual date, or dressed up for a more formal date.
