Dos and Don’ts of Dating
There are no hard and fast rules to dating, but here are some tips that won't do any harm.
Do let go of the past. It's done. Build yourself a small bridge and get over it. Quit telling your story; it's boring.
Don't jump straight into another relationship. Take some time to adjust; you need to be alone for a while to rediscover who you are.
Do find a balance. Seek love, but don't make it your whole life. Get a hobby. Knit, volunteer. Knit yourself a volunteer.
Do cultivate relationships with other single people; it's depressing being the token singleton in a crowd of couples; like being alone on Noah's Ark.
Don't drink in excess on dates. It's pathetic and leads to arm-gnawing moments of awkwardness later.
Don't come on too strong. It's unnerving, and you're dating, not stalking. Keep the mystery and let things progress naturally.
Don't introduce the person you're seeing to your friends and family too early; it's tempting when you're used to being part of a couple, but is overwhelming.
Do be open; rigid rules about a 'type' may mean you dismiss somebody lovely.
Do maintain your self-respect; go easy with sharing information. There's plenty of time to get to know each other; no early soul-baring. It smacks of desperation.
Don't take it all so seriously. Approach it with a sense of openness and fun. Flirt a bit, enjoy it all, and you'll be infinitely more attractive!
Visualizing your ideal partner…
Visualizing your ideal partner and the relationship you want is a great motivator. Athletes have long understood this process of imagery and will visualize a goal before acting on it. You can do the same with your love life. Give it a shot now! You have nothing to lose.
Close your eyes and picture your ideal partner. Engage all your senses. How does this person smell? What does he or she look like? Listen to this person’s voice. How does it sound? Where are you? What are you doing? Are your friends and family around? How does he or she interact with them? Try this a few times until the picture becomes clear, then take out a piece of paper and make a list of the most important characteristics of this partner.
List about 20 qualities that mean something to you. What values and attributes does this person have? Look over your list and separate your “deal breakers” from your “ideals.” “Deal breakers” are the absolute nonnegotiable traits, like finding a partner who wants children or is of the same religion (if those traits are important to you).
“Ideals” are more about the attributes or traits you’d prefer, like “ambitious” or “good sense of humor.” By prioritizing which qualities are important and which are ideal, you’ll discover what you’re absolutely unwilling to accept and where you’ve got some flexibility.
Become a Pro at the Art of Flirting with the Opposite Sex
You finally get them to nitice you and they walk over to talk to you. Now what? How do you keep them interested? That is where the art of flirting comes in. It's really quite simple.
It’s Saturday night in a crowded bar. A man and woman are locked in conversation. She’s laughing, batting her eyelashes and playing with her hair. He’s standing with his head tilted slightly, leaning in toward her and occasionally touching her arm. They’re performing a social ritual that’s been around for more than 5,000 years — flirting.
Flirting is one of the great joys in life. It’s an ego booster that makes you feel more attractive and desirable. Flirt with someone and they feel excited, flattered, appreciated and darn good about themselves. So indulge yourself whenever possible.
Two things are going on when you flirt. The first is the actual conversation, and the second is your body language. Flirting is an enticement and an invitation that lets the other person catch glimpses of your most attractive characteristics and behaviors.
These days, it’s a lost art, but it’s great fun when done well. Practice flirting with acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex (without telling them) and see what techniques get the best response.
For those who feel clueless about where to even start, we assure you that flirting is a learned behavior. It’s not only possible to pick up the basics, but with a little practice, you can perfect the art. Let’s start with the flirting conversation.
It’s Just Lunch Offers a Snapshot: Do Politics and Dating Make a Match?
The following are results from the It's Just Lunch poll.
1. How important is your date's political affiliation?
Overall Male Response Female Response
Somewhat Important 40% 34% 44%
Somewhat Unimportant 23% 25% 22%
Not Important 27% 34% 22%
Very Important 10% 7% 12%
2. Would you date someone who supports an opposing political party?
Yes 63% 70% 58%
Maybe 29% 24% 33%
No 8% 6% 9%
3. If your date asked about the upcoming election, would you be
comfortable responding?
Yes 87% 91% 85%
No 13% 9% 15%
4. At what time do you believe it's appropriate to discuss politics
on a date?
On the third date 40% 38% 40%
On the first date 33% 37% 32%
On the fifth date 17% 15% 19%
Only when in a
committed relationship 10% 10% 9%
5. How important is it to you that your date be knowledgeable of the
issues concerning the upcoming election?
Somewhat Important 57% 55% 58%
Very Important 17% 11% 20%
Not Important 11% 15% 9%
Somewhat Unimportant 15% 19% 13%
6. If you had plans for a date and found the only time you would be able
to vote would be when you are scheduled to meet, would you cancel your
date in order to vote?
Yes 14% 13% 15%
No 13% 21% 8%
I would see if we could
meet later if I was able
to finish voting in a
reasonable amount of time 73% 66% 77%
7. How would you feel if your date cancelled or rescheduled a date with
you so that he/she could vote?
I would understand and
respect the individual
for exercising this right 67% 69% 67%
I would be completely
annoyed and would have
no further interest in
dating this person 4% 3% 3%
I would be disappointed
and hope we could
reschedule 29% 28% 30%
8. You meet your date, there is a definite physical attraction and
chemistry BUT you learn your date supports a different party. Would
that deter you from going on a second?
Yes 11% 11% 11%
No 89% 89% 89%
Be Flexible…
Don’t be overly specific when you think about your ideal partner — such as wanting “tall blondes” or “no bald guys.” Celebrate individuality and be open to new possibilities.
You could end up ruling out the woman or man of your dreams simply because they have the wrong hair color or are a few hairs short. Remember, it’s a wish list, and nobody’s perfect. Over the coming months, it will change and grow as you discover what’s really important to you in a relationship. Remain flexible and open with your “ideals.”
Searching for Soulmate
People who don't like dating but want life partner hire the experts
The latter is important because if he weren't, I would be single and you know what that means?
Yes, better night's sleep, less laundry and cracker boxes in the cupboard that actually have crackers in them. But while those are attractive, they don't outweigh the scary idea of dating.
I wonder, is there a personal ad code for bossy, opinionated, neat-freak, misanthropic, virgo woman?
So, where does someone find a date these days?…
For the full article, go to http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=c82f7986-b15c-4947-b808-a174961e2358
Change Your Outlook and Your Luck Will Change
Six Ways to Maximize Your Fun
1. Approach dating as not just looking for an important relationship, but as enjoying life.
2. View dating as a chance to increase your circle of friends.
3. Find innovative and unusual places to meet people. Join a club, volunteer or take up a sport.
4. Take one positive aspect away from each date. For example, “I liked his values, her sense of style or his humor.” Pick a quality or characteristic that you would like in your future mate. This benefits you, even if you aren’t attracted to that person.
5. Become the person you’d like to date. Use your experiences as an opportunity for personal growth.
6. Embrace your singledom. You have the freedom to do anything you want, meet everyone you want and learn everything you can about yourself.
The point is to keep dating light and casual, especially early on. On a first date, go out to lunch, drinks or brunch and split the check. This keeps the expectations and pressure lower. If you decide to see each other again, you know your date is interested in you. It’s that simple.
As you get to know each new person, you’ll have an opportunity to “try each other out” and see if the relationship might work. Pay attention to what you’re discovering. As you progress on your dating journey, you’ll be exposed to new types of people and new ideas. Even if a date doesn’t
develop into a full-blown relationship, you’re still growing and learning as a human being, which makes life interesting and exciting.
Dating Trends Survey…
In a survey by It’s Just Lunch of 38,912 singles, IJL found that:
·         1 in 8: the chance a woman has of a 2nd date if she has not heard from him within 24 hours of their first date.
·         Top conversation killers: past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%.
·         17%–the chance of liking a date set up by a friend.
·         88% of women find money to be very important in a relationship.
·         Topic to ignore on a first date—60% of women and 64% of men don’t talk politics on a first date.
·         52% of singles feel they are too busy to meet other singles.
·         76% of women date men that are at least 5 years older than them, while 80% of men date women that are at least 5 years younger than them.
·         53% of singles find a great smile the most attractive feature.
· 43% of singles have Googled someone on the internet before a first date.
An alternative approach to dating
10 August 2008 By Áine Maguire
Anne-Marie Cussen, a psychology postgraduate who had done her thesis on alternative dating methods, was looking for something different to do when she spotted an ad in The Sunday Business Post.
It was offering the franchise opportunity for an Irish branch of US specialized dating agency It’s Just Lunch (IJL). Now, she is celebrating her first year at the helm of the Irish venture.
IJL, which markets itself as a ‘‘first date’’ specialist for professionals between the ages of 20 and 60, was launched here in May 2007.
It has arranged almost 5,000 first dates in its first year of business. About 50 per cent of its clients have gone on to have second dates and some have been together for more than a year.
‘‘A lot of our clients are people at a senior level in business who are not in a position to date colleagues or clients,” said Cussen. ‘‘We take what we do very seriously and spend a lot of time establishing exactly what people are looking for.”
The first meeting with potential clients is, according to Cussen, a two-way process - as it would be in a business venture. ‘‘They must decide if they want to use our services and we must decide if we want to have them as a client.”
IJL conducts an in-depth interview with the client to build a detailed personal profile, and identify their requirements and preferences. They also verify all clients’ identity and ages through their driving license or passports.
A fee of €799 guarantees 14 introductions in the following 12-month period. If you meet someone you like early on, you can put your remaining introductions on hold for up to one year.
Based on the person’s profile and preferences, the company matches people who appear suited. It also organizes the time and place of the meetings - and if lunchtime doesn’t suit, alternatives such as drinks after work can be arranged.
Although IJL does not exchange clients’ full names or contact details, the person they are meeting will be given some details. These include age, height, eye and hair color, profession and information about their interests and hobbies. After the first meeting, the couple can then decide if they want to exchange personal contact details.
IJL is based in Dublin but has satellite locations in Cork, Galway and Belfast. For more details, visit www.itsjustlunchireland.com.
Dating Trends of Singles…
According to a survey by It’s Just Lunch, 80% of singles still believe that a relationship is more important than a career and over 90% of singles want to get married someday.
“Singles today are more proactive about meeting other singles then they were ten years ago. We have found that singles are using many different avenues to meeting that special someone." “52% of women and 48% of men have used a dating service, compared to only 8% over a decade ago.”
Over the past decade while the goal of meeting someone special has remained the same, the age singles believe they will tie the knot has changed. In the 1990’s, 54% of single women believed they would marry in their early to mid 30’s; 59% of single men believed they would marry in their mid 40’s.  Today, the timing has reversed. 56% of single women believe they will marry in their late 30’s or 40’s, while 54% of single men believe they will marry in their 30’s.
